8 wk appt

I had my 8wk prenatal appt today with the doc I met when he did my D&C. I have to stay with an OBGYN until I am no longer considered high risk. After today I can go back to a midwife so my next appt is with my midwife!!!! Yayyyyy!!!! Appt went well. Didn't really do much and didn't get to see baby. He said everything looks great and my uterus is a good size. I will update more later, I am exhausted. I feel good enough about this pregnancy that I bought a pair of maternity capris from motherhood. I still have my maternity clothes but they are all for winter. I've never been pregnant through the summer. Oh ya... I've gained one lb already and it's probably all in my top shelf. I already had to buy a size bigger in hardware for the girls.

7 weeks!!!! Our beautiful baby is measuring 7 weeks exactly and has a HB of 133!!!! No empty sac, we have a BABY! The u/s tech knew our story and pointed to the little heart flickering away and asked if I could see it. The tears started flowing uncontrollably from both Spencer and I. It was such a beautiful moment. It's not the greatest pic cause I used my phone at a bad angle but here "she" is! This gave us enough faith to tell the kids about their little brother or sister. Tyson was just like oookaaaaayyy, and Josie said, "Oh mommy! This is amamzing!!" as she hugged me. Ha ha! They are so different, I love it!

I have my second u/s scheduled for tomorrow. The fear has brought up the memories and emotions of my journey with my angel baby......

5wks 2days Measuring 5wks 1day, yolk sac visible Too early to see fetal pole and HB Feeling discouraged even though I know it's too early. The u/s tech said that we would probably see something in a few days, of course.

Time for an u/s?

I AM SO SCARED!!!! The last u/s I had we confirmed that I did have a blighted ovum and that the pregnancy needed to be terminated. It was devastating. What if it happens again? What if we do not see a fetal sac, a fetal pole or a HB. I don't know if I can take it. I was shaking this morning when my OBs office called and said it was time for an u/s. Please, please please let me have a beautiful little heart beat.

EEEkkkkk!!!!

~3/9~ 11 days past ovulation... I am crying and shaking uncontrollably. This is what I want but I am so scared. I wish Spen were home I need someone to tell me it's gonna be okay and give me a giant hug. Quant beta 25!!!! prog 13.4 Update..... Just called Spen at work and busted him away from the checkpoint to tell him!!! My doc is sending over a lab slip for a quant hcg and prog. I'll go get that done this afternoon. Eeeeeekkkkkk!!!! Please please please let me have high numbers!!!!! ~3/10~ Last night I was painting the downstairs when I started getting the HORRIBLE cramps and I started freaking out! I kept running to the bathroom to check for aunt flo. As soon as I drank a liter of water and laid down they went away. I think it was body telling me to slow down. I had nightmares all night about m/c. :( Everything is good today. :D Spen woke me up this morning hugging my belly and I thought I was being raped but he was talking to the baby. :love: ~3/11~ Woke up to bleeding and cramping. I think it is over. Doctor wants to see what my hcg is before coming in. Line doesn't look darker than yesterday. I'm trying not to read too much into it. I get my second beta tomorrow. Still hopeful that this is our rainbow baby. :D ~3/12~14DPO~ Beta 125!!!!! Phew!!! :woot: progesterone 16.9 Can't sleep. Bleeding & cramping not as bad... This makes me :D ... ~3/13~ Small update... NO SPOTTING TODAY!!!!

Well.... I should be 6 mos pregnant today and it hurts really bad that I'm not. I have been in a serious funk lately and I wish I could get out of it. Spen and I have decided to stop trying to conceive and just see what happens. It feels good to not have the pressure but it hurts so bad that I am not preparing for our arrival. I never thought it would be this hard trying to have a baby. Our other two happened so easily. It has almost been a year since we started trying and it doesn't feel real. I'm starting to think that is it not supposed to happen. I do have two amazing kids already and I do feel blessed to have them. They light up my soul every day. I just wish I could give them a little brother or sister. They want it so bad. It hurts when they ask about our angel baby and when they will come back from heaven. I tell them that their uncle is taking care of the baby in heaven. They never had the opportunity to meet their uncle and neither did I. It does help to know that our angel has someone amazing to take care of them until we can. I just wish I felt more at peace with the whole situation.